We know we've been a little slow in bringing you coverage of the whole Fred Durst sex tape debacle. The truth of the matter is that we learned about it Friday morning like the rest of the internet, but after viewing the offending clip, we became as shell-shocked as we were after our tour in 'Nam. We spent the entire weekend holed up in a basement closet, weeping, straddling a tenuous line between reality and some sort of unspeakable Durstian hell. After taking four baths in undiluated bleach, we're feeling a little better, and ready to bring you the dish.

The video was said to have been nabbed by the same imps that hijacked Hilton, although Durst's video was not on his Sidekick, but on his personal computer. Why any cute young girl would have unprotected intercourse with the likes of Fred Durst is beyond us, but that's exactly what the video depicts. The Limp Bizkit frontman is unapologetic about the whole mess, and told MTV.com: "Everyone, probably everyone in this building, has done something similar to what I did, and nobody cares about it. But if you're high-profile, or on someone's radar... then it matters. What happens to me happens to me, and I have to live with it and go on." A guy not feeling sorry for having sex with a good-looking girl on tape? Now we've heard everything!

Oh, yeah, the video. Listen, it ain't pretty. It involves Fred Durst. It involves Fred Durst's "oh face". It involves Fred Durst's peter. But if you really, really want to see it, okay then. But remember: you were warned.