At this very moment our hearts are breaking. Just two short days ago we brought you our favorite rumor in ages, and now our hopes are being smashed like that sad little puppy our older brother stepped on to make us cry. Marcia Cross's spokeswoman says that her client definitely likes her some penis.

The original rumor that someone on the cast of Desperate Housewives was going to be coming out of the closet on the cover of The Advocate never stated whether that cast member was male or female, but since the purported ABC spy said that the gay cast member has appeared on every episode of the show, we're banking on boob-on-boob action. (That statement also rules out Nicolette Sheridan, which, frankly, greatly relieves our imaginations, since the idea of her with another woman totally creeps us out. Actually, the idea of her with a man totally creeps us out too, so maybe we have a problem.) Cross's spokeswoman said, "In response to the recent rumors about Marcia Cross, they are completely untrue. She is, however, very supportive of the gay and lesbian community." So let the guessing resume. The next obvious choice would be Teri "I haven't had sex in four years" Hatcher. If she's having trouble finding a man, perhaps it's because she can't keep her eyes off the ladies. Or maybe it's Eva Longoria. J.C. Chasez does scream "beard" to us. He was in Nsync for Christ's sake. And if the Sapphic sister does turn out to be Eva, who is her WB lady love? Amanda Bynes? Alexis "Rory Gilmore" Bledel? Ooooh, now this is getting good. Maybe we don't care so much about Marcia anymore.