Jack Osbourne wants to become a firefighter. Who? Jack Osbourne? Who's that? Ozzy's kid? Yeah, we remember Ozzy. We thought he had a daughter, though. Oh, there's another one? God, we don't remember. The Osbournes is, like, soooo 2003.

So apparently, the pampered progeny of Ozzy and Sharon is fed up with the pampered, spoiled lifestyle of the rich and famous and wants to give back to his community. "I'm enrolling in a firefighting course this summer in New York. I'm serious. It's something I've always thought about but now is definitely the time to do it," he said. Jack, you DO know that firefighters have to, like, lift really heavy stuff? And they can't be hopped on on Oxycontin, right? "I think it would be really cool. Those guys do a tough job and I admire that. Since 9/11 I think people appreciate them more. Plus you get to wear those cool uniforms that all the chicks dig. I'm joking about that but I do want to do it--definitely. I'm looking into how to enroll now." We think it's sweet Jack wants to be a fireman. We hear it was a tough decision for him, after whittling his career choices down to "policeman", "fireman", and "cowboy".