For years, the public has been obsessed with the size of Jennifer Lopez's ass. We marvel at it, we dissect the waxing and waning of its vastness, we dedicate VH1 shows to it. But the squaw of Anthony has been acting a little funny lately, so we finally tear our eyes away from her posterior and focus them firmly on her uterus.

J. Lo sparked the rumors last week, after cancelling her entire European tour due to "a small cold." However, she was somehow magically able to pull her ailing self together to perform on the popular German show You Bet over the weekend. After performing her song "Get Right," the host, Thomas Gottschalk tried to broach the pregancy rumors, causing Jenny from the Block to throw up her hands and say "Don't ask." In our book, "don't ask" means "I have a Louis Vuitton baby tote on hold and I'm paying underaged Cambodian children two dollars a week to knit a dozen pairs of teeny Manolos."