Anna Nicole Smith, bless her heart, had to be toted offstage by a pair of burly bodyguards after a-bobbin' and a-weavin' and a-slurrin' as she attempted to introduce Kanye West. The only thing that could've made the spectacle more entertaining would have been the use of a giant novelty hook.

When the merry widow took the stage at the American Music Awards, she began babbling with the classic introduction to any good speech: "Like my body?" After being led away from the podium, she reportedly fell face-first into the gift table and had to be forcibly propped up. Despite her insistence that her drug of choice is "Trimspa, baby," ANS appeared to be plenty juiced; however, she thinks her current "state of mind" is a result of her dramatic weight loss, and constantly being ridiculed about being stupid. "I liked me better bigger because now I'm too bony," she said. "I'm just portrayed as some bimbo, and never taken seriously."